the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
