i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
