You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
