And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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