Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
4 words: hood of his car
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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