I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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