yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
