We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
