Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
