super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
