wanna go halves on a baby?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
