so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
