Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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