And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
