Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you win again, gameday.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We left the knife in your bed.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
