she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
