Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
