shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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