I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize