About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
