he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
