brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
