i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
