I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
