his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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