I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
