Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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