I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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