I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
