Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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