Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
