Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
