She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
