At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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