We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
