My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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