Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
