Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
