He asked me if I "almost moaned"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
