My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
