AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
