Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
how do you play pong handcuffed?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
