I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
