i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
