So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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