the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
