Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
