Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
