just come out here and I will go home with you...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
