Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
