Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
