I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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