Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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