so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
