That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
