I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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