Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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