Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?

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  (804): Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no? http://tfl.nu/9ccj
  Replies (12) Good night (924) Bad night (523)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up

  (915): View more from Texas

  Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat

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  (561): At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up (915): Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat http://tfl.nu/y8qb
  Replies (32) Good night (3905) Bad night (692)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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  (214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8
  Replies (37) Good night (8261) Bad night (656)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno

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  (908): he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno http://tfl.nu/p79f
  Replies (3) Good night (3545) Bad night (720)
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  (805): View more from California

  he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

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  (805): he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me http://tfl.nu/6q8m
  Replies (18) Good night (661) Bad night (4026)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.

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  (217): i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that. http://tfl.nu/jmlu
  Replies (43) Good night (1465) Bad night (2813)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

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  (248): You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/unry
  Replies (66) Good night (25522) Bad night (2869)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.

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  (484): I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me. http://tfl.nu/20bq
  Replies (7) Good night (2525) Bad night (1225)
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  (916): View more from California

  Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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  (916): Sadness tears and throw up everywhere http://tfl.nu/ierj
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (2158)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.

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  (206): Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower. http://tfl.nu/5wes
  Replies (6) Good night (1665) Bad night (865)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.

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  (206): Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night. http://tfl.nu/k94l
  Replies (7) Good night (1714) Bad night (622)
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  (916): View more from California

  You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.

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  (916): You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you. http://tfl.nu/ukeu
  Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (1686)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.

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  (260): He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis. http://tfl.nu/w515
  Replies (20) Good night (577) Bad night (1494)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?

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  (313): My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up? http://tfl.nu/qcgq
  Replies (1) Good night (806) Bad night (356)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.

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  (702): We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly. http://tfl.nu/ykqa
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (212)

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