Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I didn't shave. On purpose

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  (704): I didn't shave. On purpose http://tfl.nu/ll6a
  Replies (11) Good night (763) Bad night (1112)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.

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  (336): If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule. http://tfl.nu/wdvp
  Replies (27) Good night (3659) Bad night (661)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.

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  (952): i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor. http://tfl.nu/i20y
  Replies (26) Good night (2571) Bad night (642)
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  (805): View more from California

  he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.

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  (805): he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet. http://tfl.nu/znz0
  Replies (11) Good night (929) Bad night (3762)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck

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  (610): all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck http://tfl.nu/mnqh
  Replies (49) Good night (1427) Bad night (7479)
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  (530): View more from California

  for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...

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  (530): for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates... http://tfl.nu/xo9l
  Replies (3) Good night (1319) Bad night (567)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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  (940): He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there. http://tfl.nu/awit
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (575)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.

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  (417): New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel. http://tfl.nu/qpdx
  Replies (9) Good night (2422) Bad night (620)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea

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  (269): So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea http://tfl.nu/13gp
  Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (1757)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..

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  (727): There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you.. http://tfl.nu/y77w
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (677)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot

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  (215): I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot http://tfl.nu/otr7
  Replies (4) Good night (857) Bad night (411)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  How are you feeling?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.

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  (541): How are you feeling? (1-541): Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am. http://tfl.nu/yuas
  Replies (8) Good night (415) Bad night (707)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.

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  (563): A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night. http://tfl.nu/qzkz
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (562)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.

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  (902): I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza. http://tfl.nu/8hbb
  Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (538)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...

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  (717): Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls... http://tfl.nu/qcx4
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (375)

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