I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
