It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?