I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
