I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?