I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
