Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
