just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
