Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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