I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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