East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
