So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
