you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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