The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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