there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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