He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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