i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
