Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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