I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need a beard to bite.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
